"The term work / life conflict refers to the simultaneous influence of work on members' lives away from work - at home, at leisure, and in families and communities - and the influence of personal life responsibilities and asporations on members' experiences at work" (p.203) The text explains that this concept has been of most importance/influence among feminist scholars because a woman's ability to sucessfully balance a career and family life just does not seem to work out when society also implies that a woman must take on the role of child care and domestic labor once they have returned home from work.
This idea is bothersom for me on a few reasons-I have always wanted a career, and I have always wanted to eventually have a family of my own. My mother has worked my entire life, she was a school teacher until I was fifteen, and then she went back to school to work on her masters but at the same time as she worked on her masters she was promoted to a job title that sounds almost impossible which was: Superintendent / principle/ teacher. Yes she had all three of those job positions at the same time, and was working on her masters, and she was still a mother of four. I know that me being the youngest of four at this time was obviously much easier, but she was still there for me when I needed her, she was still a mother with a career. After she recieved her masters she continued with that job and eventually they added on a twist to her teaching position, she was now the Superintendent / Principle / teacher for a classroom filled with two grades. She did this for a cuple of years years, and up until most recently she is now a Superintendent for 500 students, plus 5 charter schools that are associated with the one large school.
My mother has worked so hard to get to where she is in her career and I never once felt like she neglected the role of being a mother, if anything she raised her children to be independent and responsible. We all helped out around the house, including my father. And I think that society needs to wake up and realize that their whole concept of how a woman should run her family and household once she returns home from a day of work needs to change. I believe that it's about time that our society promotes children helping out around the home. It's definitely a way of devloping a mature outlook on life.
Over this past summer I had an oncall position with an event planner. The women that I worked with were retired, and chose this job as something fun to do from time to time. One day during one of my conversations with the one of the women she seemed shocked when I told her that I planned on having a career and a family at the same time. To my surprise she told me that I was going to have to choose...because both were impossible to have. No one had ever told me this before. My parents had always encouraged me to go to college and to become whatever my heart desired...I mean, I've grown up watching them both have a career and a family, so why was someone telling me that that wasn't right? She didn't even given me options, she simply said that I was going to have to choose.
I know that it won't be easy once I reach that position in life, but I think that it's ridiculous that I will have to "choose" between the two.
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I completely agree that you should not have to choose! If you want something bad enough, you will find a way to make it happen. My sister was a freshly divorced single mom with 2 daughters, working 2 jobs and finishing school. She now has her Master's and has been tenured for many years at the school she teaches at, along with raising 2 additional children from her second marriage. I look at this dilemma of "career or family" as a puzzle- you can make it work and fit together as long as you look at it and arrange it around for a while. It's not going to be easy for those of us who want both. At the same time however, if we are determined to have both, we will make it happen because in our minds, there is not just a career or a family, there is both. We know no different and our children will probably be the same way because that's how we have been raised and how they will be raised.
ReplyDeleteAs a fellow woman, I find myself with the same worries you have. I often find myself struggling trying to deal with gender roles and the expectations that come along with them. For instance, I find the notion of not being able to be a “fit mother” while working, troublesome. Why is it that women have to sacrifice what they have worked so hard for in order to be considered a “decent mother”? Women are more than capable of being fit mothers as well as outstanding employees.
ReplyDeleteJust like you, I too hope to one day have a family of my own. However, for the time being, I want to focus on my education, work, and my well-being. In my view, I want to focus on myself before I can seriously commit to anyone and much less commit to a family of my own. Nevertheless, once I get married and I start a family, I plan to balance both my family and career.